Happy Marriage (1 Peter 3:1-7)

How happy is your marriage? How would you rate your marriage on a scale of 1 to 10; 3, 5 or 8? No, I am not taking a poll of the state of marriages in FERC! By right, we ought to have a happy marriage or at least one that is getting happier by the years. On what grounds do I make this claim? On the very ground that Godly marriage is modelled after the relationship between Christ and his Church (Eph 5:32) and this is the very basis that our marriages can be successful with respect to what God intends it to be in the ambit of love as set forth between Christ and his Church.

If so, we would naturally expect the Word of God to show us the way on how such a state of happiness and more that can be attained with regards to husband and wife. Here in 1 Peter 3:1-7, we are given immensely practical teaching on conduct to follow that will invite the blessings from God and answered prayers leading to a life of usefulness in the Kingdom of God. So, what is this teaching?

It begins with the instruction for the wife to be in subjection to her husband, even if the husband is a non-believer, and the promise is that through her godly conduct he is won for Christ. “Action speaks louder than words” as the saying goes. Action demonstrated over a period of timesprings forth from one’s heart, the “hidden man of the heart”, and this inner sanctum reflects one’s strength or fear. Here in this case, the Apostle Peter exhorts the godly woman to embrace in her “hidden man” an imperishable object of beauty, namely, a “meek and quiet spirit” and this will in turn spring forth in the adornment of obedience with regards to her husband as exemplified in how Sarah behaved toward Abraham.  You may ask, from whence does this “meek and quiet spirit” arise? It arises from a reliance on God which God delights in. Furthermore, given that God creates the ordinance of marriage, and therefore everyone is inscribed with the natural law of the role distinction between husband and wife, the unbelieving husband would resonate with the obedient conduct of his godly wife and thus by the Grace of God won to our dear Savior, Jesus.

As it takes two hands to clap in a successful marriage, the godly husband does have a big role to play too, in exercising his authority of living with his wife in intimate knowledge as well as an honor-bestowing way, one that is congruent with the fact that his godly wife is a weaker vessel that he should uplift as well as one that is on the same level with him in the Grace of God in this life and the life to come. As much as he is supposed to lead as a godly husband and to dwell with her in knowledge, he is expected to achieve a state of affinity and love with his godly wife in the way of considering her interest in an intimate and powerful way, in understanding his wife holistically with regards to her fear, strength and weakness as much as what God desires of the marriage and how a husband ought to exercise his kingly rule in love as how Christ loves the Church (Eph 5:25). Such behavior of the godly husband receives divine sanction from God in the way of answered prayers. As the Apostle James has it, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:18b). As a godly husband, it is natural that the supreme Goal in his life is to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. He would thus be desirous to be useful for God, and to be useful for God, it means he would have an effective prayer ministry, and to have an effective prayer ministry, he has to exercise the conduct of a Godly husband as prescribed here by the Apostle Peter!

So here we have a blueprint of a happy marriage where the foundational fabric of the society is lived out according to God’s plan of role distinction in marriage of subjection and leadership in the family life that delights God as well as a means of usefulness for the godly husband who is supported by his godly wife. Given that this blueprint is modelled after the spiritual union of Christ and his Church, godly men and women are prepared for heaven in their short marriage life here on earth; for many it is both a crucible that strengthens faith of both spouses and a source of joy that causes them to pine for heaven.

Is there any other way of having a happy marriage for you?

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Published in First Evangelical Reformed Church 8^th April 2018 Issue of Church Bulletin.